As I contemplated my 2-year anniversary, I thought it appropriate that I reflect back to the beginning 166 pounds ago. Someone said to me that they hardly remember that person. One thing I never want to do is forget that 363-pound person.   It's the reason I will keep my size 32 jeans - another reminder.

As I look at those pictures I am no longer saddened. I used to beat myself up about what I did to myself. Now I look at that person to remember and never forget. I remember what kind of lifestyle that person led. I refer to my former self as that person because spiritually, mentally and physically I am no longer the same. That 363-pound person used food for any and every thing except its true function. I self medicated with food. Food was a friend who would comfort me through stressing times. Food was a reward. Food and portion control never intersected in my life. I remember always thinking I had IBS - irritable bowel syndrome. What I actually had was a problem with eating - to be truthful I had several problems when it came to eating.

Through prayer and support, I was able to overcome my eating problems. Yes, I still have my moments where I am tempted to eat through my stress, but I don't succumb to that desire. During my first year, I came to look at food as it is meant to be fuel for the body - God's way of sustaining me - not a tool for self-abuse. There are times I still meditate on this Norris Chumley quote: "Eating is a deeply symbolic act of receiving God's grace into my body. I do not want to dishonor this divine gift, so I never eat too much, or without thought, anymore."

From the very beginning I have been using visual tools suggested by Lean for Life to work on my mental blueprint. Lean for Life talks about how important it is we see ourselves how we want to be. One of things I have done from day one is carry a picture of me on my 30th birthday wearing my goal jeans - size 14 non-stretch St John Bay jeans. I have also taken many pictures along the way. Having a picture journal is very encouraging and motivating. I can say that I have succeeded in transforming my mental blueprint. I no longer see myself as overweight or fat. I can finally see myself as a beautiful person that is worthy of the best treatment from myself as well from others. No more heavy-duty flashbacks for me. No more trick mirrors for me.

A Lean for Life quote that has been another mantra of mine: "If you want to change your body, you have to change your mind". Changing the way I look at myself and food was critical in my weight loss journey. I've always said weight loss is more mental than it is about the food plan. I had to get rid of that diet mentality and commit to a lifetime lifestyle change. For me eating the right foods came easy most of the time and exercise was a struggle at first, but without changing the way I think this time I would not have been able to commit to either. Through daily affirmations I've conditioned myself to speak positive things into my life and tune out those negative voices. Surrounding myself with positive people has also been key for me. The support I have received from my on line friends have been priceless as MasterCard would say.

I lost 124 pounds in the first year and 42 pounds in the second year. My second year may pale in numbers, but it was a great learning/growing experience for me. While the first year was exciting to go through watching the pounds drop off, the second year called for more prayer, patience, persistence and perseverance. Realistically I knew after losing so much weight my body needed to adjust, but it was still hard not to become frustrated. I was doing all the right things including increasing my exercise with variety and time. Yet, I was losing less sometimes even gaining. I admit it caused to me stray from my plan at times and struggle more than I did the first year. I changed my focus from the numbers on the scale to toning - searching out exercises that would tone my problem areas- my arms and thighs. I also fought the spirit of complacency because like I said I became quite satisfied with my body. I had to remind myself that this is more about being healthy.

Where I was once bound to the specialty stores buying extended sizes, I can now shop at any store I want. No more plus sizes. My biggest moment in size dropping was going from a 52 DDD to a 38 DD bra size. I lost a cup and I thought that would never happen.  Others stats include decreasing my BMI from 53.6 to 29.1, losing over 100 inches - my latest measurements taken January 1^st (Chest 56 to 40 (-16) , Hips 64.5 to 47 (-17.5), Waist 52.75 to 37 (-15.75), Abdomen 66.5 to 38 (-28.5) , and Thighs 41.5 to 29.5 (-12).

Reading over my 100-pound story, I realized I have completed another mile in my journey. My first major goal was to lose 100. My second was to move into Onederland. January 17th found me at 197. My last goal is to be lean for life as my program is titled. Year one taught me that I can overcome a binge while listening to the wise words of an online friend. Year two taught me that maintaining is possible while traveling more than I ever have in my life. I don't know what life lesson year three will teach me, but I am ready to learn it.